I am sorry it is so tough but we both know God can make something good come out of this whether you reconcile or not. For the sake of the kids, to reconcile and then to allow God to heal the marriage, you need to endure the pain and grow through it.
We are best at offering help to those who are going through things we successfully went through ourselves. My reconciliation with X after our first separation WAS NOT successful because we did not resolve the issues in the marriage. I can help people GAL when their spouses have moved on but your H is in limbo and you need advice in that area.
BND has been there and done that. If you haven't tracked down and read as many of her threads over the last two years, you should. I found her most recent thread which summarizes some of her lessons. I read the first couple of posts and think you would benefit from absorbing everything she has to offer and to see what others are learning and sharing on her threads as well:
I too will make time to read and understand because I know my X is going to fall and to fall hard (it could be this year it could be in three years). I am very much at peace in GAL for God is healing, strenthening and using me. I may very well be in a place where I absolutely do not want my X back when she falls and starts to repent. BND's experiences will help me to understand the stages X will be because there is a tendency for MLC spouses to become suicidal and I need to know because my X has always been very emotional and I fear for her in this area. So, I will be learning about that scenario along with you should you start hanging with BND.
In the end, whether either of reconcile or not, the more we learn and apply the wisdom of the Word of God and that which he has brought before through this board and people like BND, the more peace we will have that we know we were obedient to the Lord to fight for our marriages becasue God hates divorce.
AND after the end, that is, when we leave this earth and go to be with the Lord, we do want our spouses there with us, especially if we never reconcile. To reject the Lord and walk away from Him altogether is a very real possibility. Blatantly continuing one's sin of adultery (my x divorced me legally but I know that doesn't count in God's eyes) sure doesn't seem like it is an automatic ticket to heaven according to anything in the Bible. So we suck it up and learn what the Lord has for us. I believe He sent BND to both of us and we should thank Him and learn.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
