And after what has happened this past year, I find myself worrying about what he does when he's away. I can't help it.
aid,
I think this is something we all will have to face if we are fortunate enough to reconcile with our spouses. I also think it is the issue that can make or break our ability to even do this. And it would not be our faults at all if we, in the end, cannot get the trust back. In fact I happen to know a few couples that struggled with this, and ultimately did not reconcile because of it. What is good for you is that at least your H is making an effort right now and you are getting the chance to see. That is something I feel I got cheated out of because my H has never tried. It must be a very empowering feeling for you to know that it's really up to YOU and you don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. What I mean is, you can say you tried to work this out...and it either will, or it won't. But you got a shot! I am pleased about that part for you. As for his trip, I think it is only natural that you are worried. I don't see how anything but time can help with that. Your H will have to face many situations such as this one, and only his actions over time will prove to you that he is committed to this marriage. You're giving him the chance to do that, and that is a huge gift to him. I pray he lives up to it. love, Hope
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
