I am in the same situation, too. Although, some days H says he wants to work on us, some days he even says he needs to break it off with her, some days he gets all "dreamy" looking and I'm sure thinking about OW, and some days he just can't stop from "feeding the addiction".
I guess I'm "lucky" in that my H refuses to leave home. However, I also almost want their R to play out more quickly and see that happening only if he leaves. On the flip side, it's easier to work on "us" and show him the changes I'm making while he is living at home...
It's the most hideous roller coaster ride in the entire world. But, if you make a plan and figure out why you are here and change your behavior and the way that your act in situations, you H WILL recognize those changes. Do some 180's. Read as much as you can. I can't emphasize enough that you need to make a plan to be the best you possible.
I've also been journaling what has been working and what hasn't. I know for sure that the sobbing, needy, pleading person I was this past week after Valentine's Day is NOT WORKING. I try to think of it as a war of "good" against "evil". Are we up for the fight?
