8, you are absolutely correct! GAL is a life saver and it's a way to build confidence and self esteem. When the person you have dedicated yourself to building a life with rips your heart out like this the old self esteem takes a beating. Why? Because these are the people we felt most secure with, thought we were loved by, who vowed to be with us forever and they betrayed us! That's a pretty deep wound. You wonder "if this person thinks I'm unworthy, than why would anyone else want me around?" We begin to operate from fear, the fear of not being enough for others. Our view of ourselves becomes scewed until we start to take action thus GAL and DB! I have been able to exist in the Hell I have for at least two years because of what I have gained from DB, it's as much for us as for our M's, that is the beauty of it. Even if it doesn't work, you are a healthier and happier human being who CAN carry on. I've seen those who have allowed themselves to be swallowed up by this monster and it ain't pretty! That's not gonna be me no matter what way my sitch goes. Now, I think we need to look at areas in our lives where we are competent and operate confidently that don't involve our S's. What is different in those situations. Can we repeat any of those things in other areas in our lives? I'm sure we're all competent in our jobs, socialize well at work, handle our stress better. How do we make that happen? Again, can we repeat it elsewhere. We need to look to our strengths not fixate on our weaknesses. Just my 2 cents.
