It's funny... when H is around and I don't get to go online much, i miss you all!! Thank you so much for the birthday wishes. It means so much to me!
Things are going well, for the most part. But, I still think there is something wrong with him. I still think he doesn't feel whatever connection with me that he is looking for.
Dinner was nice. We got there early and had drinks in front of the fire. That was really nice. Then we moved to our table. Dinner was good. Conversation was light. Mostly about work, the kids, and other misc stuff. No R talk. Although, I did mention to him that it was nice when he stopped by with coffee the other day. Then he said that he was in the area to pick up his dry cleaning (hmmm.. and I thought he made a special trip to see us). Anyway, I'm trying to thank him for the little things that I'm noticing that he's doing.
The kids slept at my parents last night. When we came home, we watched TV in bed, then I fell asleep (too much wine). I'm trying to show him affection without going overboard. Meaning, at times during the night, I roll over and put my arms aroudn him. Then after a little while, I roll the other direction. Then he comes over my way sometimes, etc...
This morning, when he left, I kissed him and hugged him and said ILY. Then he left for San Diego until Friday night.
I still think he's struggling. Yes, things seem to be stabilizing, but we are by no means out of teh woods. I find myslef worrying about him on this business trip. OW won't be there, THANK GOD, but there will be young, attractive women there. And neither of us are wearing our wedding rings. And after what has happened this past year, I find myself worrying about what he does when he's away. I can't help it.
The good news (I HOPE), is that while he is out there, he will be interviewing for the in-house position. I have done a lot to prep him for it. I wrote up some taklign points for him (he has trouble interviewing and I'm good at it, so I usually help him with this type of stuff). I pray to GOD that he gets it. Not only will it mean no more working with OW, but it will also give him the structure he so desperately needs. Money will be less, but money isn't everything.
I am looking forward to some time alone. And I need to force myself not to think/worry about what he is doing there. I'm sure there will be lots of drinking going on. That's what worries me the most.
