Sounds like your D is certainly Busted! Congratulations
For now yes I think it is. H and I had a talk last night - it was really gentle and we both calmly stated how we're feeling. H said that if it ended right now he'd be relieved that the stress was over but it isn't what he wants to happen. I said I knew what he meant. Its like both of us don't want it to end but we are both tired and fed up of the stress caused by the outstanding issues. H asked if there is anything we could talk about that would make me feel less insecure and stressed. I couldn't really think of anything other than him showing me he loves me, telling me he loves me which he cannot do. I explained that when he thought I didn't love him he left me yet now I don't feel like he loves me and he knows that yet he expects me to stick it out and wait. He said he could see what I was saying. I don't know what the answer is. Neither does he. It is so sad. We both don't want it to go wrong again but I can't stop feeling upset about H not telling me he loves me or kissing me etc and H can't sort his head out. H won't go to a C. So I just don't know what to do anymore. I know you're all screaming at the screen saying just relax and stop talking to him about ML. I just can't. I get up every day resolved to and every day I fail because I just want to know. I know people probably read my thread and think its only 6 months its not that long but I have been unhappy because of our R for longer than that. It has been 2 1/2 years and then prior to that it was 4 years of not being truly happy because we wanted a child and couldn't have one. So that is 6 1/2 years of not being truly happy. It is a long time. I want to get up in a morning and feel truly loved and truly happy.
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Now tell us what makes you chillaxed in life? What are your chillaxing activities girl?
I don't know. Vegging on the sofa eating chocolate used to be one but I'm determined not to put my weight back on so that's a no no. Relaxing baths is another but I struggle so much to do housework that I end up doing it after S is in bed so I never seem to get time.
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Why don't you go schedule a spa day and then a day with your gfs and then dancing or something. Just think of one thing to do to fill your weekends or evening instead of laying so much pressure on your H.
I'd love to go for a spa day i've never done that but we are broke thanks to H buying car at the start of our piecing.
Thanks Rainbowlove for being so wonderful - you are great!
