M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I just wanted to pop in and thank you for your input. It's so hard to see things clearly when you're too close to the sitch; don't know what I'd do without this board!
Hope all is well for you...
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Well, my H went for his first CBT session. C basically just wanted to go over things with him from the beginning and we will see where things go from here. He wanted to get some background information pertaining to the accident and how he figures it impacted his life. Asked him about "positive times" and can he think back to that time in his life. H told him "no, its too distant right now" - so he has a way to go before he can move forward. Thank goodness he is on AD - which is what he told the C because he said without them he didn't know what he would do.
H has been fairly positive for the past couple of days, more so than usual but not anywhere close to where he used to be but at least I can see him moving in the right direction for the time being. We do have our setbacks but for the most part (at least right now) it does seem to be moving in the right direction
Keeping all my fingers and toes crossed
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Hey; Speaking from a husband's perspective, noticing your hair is HUGE!!!!!!!!!
I can't remember the number of times I got called on the carpet because I didn't notice that she got her hair "trimmed", or went from champaigne to summer blond, or what ever. It is a genetic fault in men, we don't notice your hair unless you dye it purple, or unless we are really noticing YOU.
Your husband noticed you, and that is a good thing.
Did you positively reinforce his behavior?
81388 Me 43, waw 44, 3 kids(D15,D12,S6)Married 19yr, together 27yr. Bomb 11/27/06, Separated 3/1/07 Divorce filed 4/18/07,
"Because it is in giving that we receive; In forgiving that we obtain forgiveness; In dying that we rise to eternal life" St. Francis
Of course I did - I suck in any compliment I can get at the moment - lol. H has always been pretty good at noticing - he's very particular about everything around him actually (a bit of a fuss sort)
I even thanked him this weekend for taking care of my car (he is the one that does all the maintenance etc.) - he said "you didn't need to thank me" and I said "yes, I do, I don't think I thank you enough sometimes" - he seemed speechless
I also thanked him for coming to meet me for lunch today. He was going to go to the library (its his day off) and I guess I seemed a little down (Mondays are bad days for me because that is when he used to travel to see OW for about 4-5 months after we moved here, about a 3 hour drive each way) so he called me on my break and said "would you like to see me at lunch". I said "of course, I would love to see you but I thought you wanted to go to the library". He said "I can always do that another time" - so that was another positive today too
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I'm glad to hear that positives are happening for you! It's nice when we notice these things that our S's do for us, right? Now if I can only get those small voices out of my head........
I'm getting ready for work a little earlier and i hope I don't get to grumpy in the mornings. I was really tired yesterday for some reason (must be something in the new building's water...) but I just knocked out right away after chatting and woke up in the same position! Guess my body's telling me that I need to loosen up, laugh more, and simply try to be happy. It's weird how negative energy can wear a person down, so I'm just going to pick myself up for today and enjoy the crazy drive to work - lol.
I hope you have a nice day today. I enjoyed talking to ya!
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~