I think that what might help is the fact that you aren't doing anything bad. You try to be considerate, kind, loving and thoughtful and she gets angry. Not your fault. You give these things because you feel a real love for her, not because you expect anything in return. The problem is expectation. I try to feel the joy and happiness in giving regardless of any recieving. Your wife is unhappy with her life and expects someone else to fix that. You have to realize that happiness and self worth aren't found without when they're not found within and that is something we can't change in someone else. All we can do change how we feel. Self worth, happpiness and love can be contagious. I hope that you can see your self worth and find the happiness and love within.
