I am just trying to get rid of some emotions right now.

H met me and S5 and D4 at the mall yesterday for about 2 hours. We had a really good time. We spent alot of time in the arcade letting the kids play. H talked about several things that we used to play before we had the kids. It was a nice time. Then I found out that he was going to a 'party' last night. He didn't seem too thrilled while telling me. Almost as if he wanted to stay at the mall. I don't know. He told me that one of his guy friends was throwing the party. I looked at him and said "are you sure it isn't her that is throwing it?" Then I told him about her saying that she was going to throw one and invite me. I told him "She just isn't all there." He just looked at me and grinned.

So the more I think about him taking her around his friends, the more disgusted and discouraged I get. I try to keep thinking about all the times he calls me and just wants to small talk. That is a big step. But then I just want to look at him and drag him home. I am working on my patience but at times it gets to me.

This week is a week of prayer and fasting at church. I am going to do this and pray for restoration of my family and my marriage!

I am trying to eliminate R talk and let things work almost like dating again. Is he hiding his contact with me from her?

"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."