I will tell you from experience....if he feels that he loves the OW it will take time for him to "unlove" her if that is what he is trying to do....she is an addiction at this point....he keeps returning for his fix (if he is doing this behind your back)... sometimes the best thing to do at this point is to let him go and carry on like you are fine....focus on the children....do lots of things with them and for yourself when they are with him...this will show him you are not "needy" as most OW are...at first this is appealing to them....but it does get old and starts to feel like controling...
I know this is hard....I have been at this since 9/04....finally my H is home and really trying to make things work....it is going to take time for him to love me again....he had to unlove her first....that has been done....so onto my next hurdle....get him to fall in love with me again...
Hang in there....you are in the right place...vent here and talk as much as you need....I found this helped me keep my focus so I didn't beg and plead with H....
