Paul - thanks for your post. I am not sure that these boards are a particularly good statistical basis for a number of reasons.
1. It represents quite a small proportion of people in MLC, and it may not be a representative sample in itself. 2. The 'success stories' threads in themselves are non indicative - I have been on these boards long enough to have seen some reconcilations, and also posts from people who have reconciled, and come back briefly to say all is well. Their stories are not in the 'success stories' threads that I have seen. 3. Many of the people who are on the boards a long time have particularly obdurate MLC spouses or they divorce, but contiue to post for a variety of reasons - so once again people posting here are not representative of all MLC. 4. I have friends who have been particularly supportive who have been through this, and got back together. I have to say they are either faking it, or they are extremely happy. Again, not a representative sample, but some indication that it is certainly possible to have a MLC, and rebuild a marriage.
Now I am not saying that we should cling on to false hope, but equally, there is some evidence that a fair few people come out of this MLC and rebuild their lives. Equally, some, perhaps many, clearly don't. The fact is, we don't know, and so for any of us to talk with authority on this is misleading. You may well be right. My best guess is that quite a few get back together, some successfully, others less so. Much, I suspect, depends on the quality of the marriage previous to the MLC.
I am seeing a therapist who does beleive that there is such a thing as MLC, which occurs for a variety of reasons, and which people can and do come out of, though often not without professional help. [Although cynically I suppose he would say that!].
I enoy your posts, and wish that there was more systematic study of MLC, rather than the anecdotal material that we all tend to peddle, mainly because there is little else to go on.
