My We are What we Are thread has been locked so I thought I would bring this one back to the top and continue on with "Moving Forward II."
angelica
I wanted to answer your questions from my locked thread.
I had posted; "There are so few MLC spouses that have returned to their marriages, and the ones that have, I highly question if they are really working on healing themselves or that they returned our of feelings of guilt and shame."
Your question; "Could you let me know where you got your stats on this?"
I have no statistics to share. This is something that I feel, with no proof to back it up. When I say so few MLC spouses have returned home, I'm referring to what I have seen on this board since 1999.
If you look at those listed under the "Success Stories" of Midlife Crisis forum, you will see there is a small number compared to the number of LBS who have posted hear over the last 7+ years that I have been involved with posting.
Of those who have returned home, we don't know how their relationship is going today, nor do we know if their spouse will not have further issues down the road. The same issues he or she had during their MLC.
My refernce to MLC and Addicitions is that the person going through a MLC has some form of an addiction. It may ne alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, gambling, OW/OM or what ever they have chosen as their "drug of choice."
I have no formal training in physchology, counseling nor do I have a college degree. I am a remodeling contractor.
That being said, I am probably not professionaly qualified to speak on the subject of addictions, relationships, human behaviors, emotional issues, depression, affairs, Mid Life Crisis or any of the many topics I speak to.
I've lived on this planet for 53 years and have had many personal life experiences in the areas I listed above. I've been seeking counseling for over 15 years and have read numerous books on Affairs, Depression, Mid Life Transitions, Divorce, Marriage Relationships, Spirituality, Emotional Awareness, Self-Help.
I am no expert. I only share what I believe to be true for me. It is what resinates inside of me. All of what I read I don't agree with.
Much of what I have believed in the past is no longer true for me today. I do not hang onto my beliefs. They are forever changing.
What I share comes from within me. It is what works for me in understanding life and why I have experienced all the things I have, and all the things that I will in the future.
I am continually becoming spiritually awakened. My emotional, physical and spiritual parts of who I am are becoming more sensitive to everything around me. My conscious awareness has increased ten fold over the last 7+ years.
I believe that everything is connected. MLC, addictions, depression as well as other human conditions are connected at some level. There is more similarities then there are differences in my humbled opinion.
I would love to hear about your experiences with addicts and what you ahve come to learn. By sharing, you can enlighten me to many things I probably am not aware of.
I look forward to hearing back from you, Angelica.
