I also find the ultra male top fantasy erotic, but I wouldn't want to live it. I think it would affect me psychologically after awhile. In a LTR, it asks to much of men, to deny the times they are feeling weak, sick, unsure, etc.
Interesting IHJ. I guess you mean that it is just not realistic. A man who is an ultra "top" cannot also be vulnerable or show weakness in other areas of the R? It would certainly be difficult.
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I find I am becoming more immune to my fantasy life. My quest is to make reality work. I have more compassion for the person my H is.
Well, I wouldn't say I am immune to the fantasy life but I wholeheartedly agree with you on the other points. I do have more compassion for H and also am trying to be realistic.
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I remember one incident in my LD days where H once sexually wrestled me to the ground and I started to cry.
Lots of women seem to be reporting this (or it's being reported by the H). Guess it's pretty rare. Sometimes it sucks being the so called "Freak of Nature." But the more I think about it, it's not freaky at all, because as Mojo has stated, many HD women want to be the "bottom" even if they come off as the "top" most of the time. I don't want to be a "top!" Unfortunately, I think I have conditioned my H to await my "top" behaviors. I have been cutting back on those and also at the same time working on the "good feelings" - compassion, respect, etc and I have seen some good changes in H because if it. Nothing like a sexual throwdown but let's not get crazy here. Trying to stay realistic. He has been more sexual towards me and I'm appreciating all the baby steps. This is big for me considering where I was not too long ago.
