I remember one incident in my LD days where H once sexually wrestled me to the ground and I started to cry. I was such an idjit then.
I also find the ultra male top fantasy erotic, but I wouldn't want to live it. I think it would affect me psychologically after awhile. In a LTR, it asks to much of men, to deny the times they are feeling weak, sick, unsure, etc.
I find I am becoming more immune to my fantasy life. My quest is to make reality work. I have more compassion for the person my H is.
