Afterall....This IS my Life III

[heatherg]

I'm just beyond trying to elicit some change from H

Ok, let me clarify because as I re-read this, it jumped out at me that selling my vehicle would in fact be to elicit some change from H...I'm certainly not doing it because I LIKE losing money right?

I guess what I mean is that I feel like I've imposed some boundaries by filing for D. I've let H know that the way he is treating me will not be tolerated. That was something I've been unable to do short of filing because no boundary I tried to implement before was ever respected. He tries not to even respect this boundary but because he has a summons to court, he can't ignore it. I feel like I've regained some of my self respect already. And when I can operate from a place of free will, not because I've been oppressed and denied, I'm finding that I'm much more willing to try because I WANT to not because I feel like I HAVE to in order to survive. Ironic that I'm most willing to try after I've filed for D. Why do we humans have to be so frickin complicated?

Not to mention that things around here seem beyond the point of any return. H will not speak to me and he shows a complete lack of even friendly concern for me. For example, if I ask him a question he mostly ignores me. Last night we went to Wal Mart and both kids wanted to ride with him, so we went to his truck first and I helped get the kids in their seats and then he just got in the truck and drove away without grabbing any of the bags. So, I made my way to my own truck, put the bags in and went home.