First I understood what you where saying in your original post. Maybe I can even assist you with what you were trying to say because I do in fact agree with you. You extrapolate too well. Its pesky.
However when you bring it to me, like that, Im going to require that you bring your 'A' game.
like "In my experience whenever I've simply told a woman to do something she has done it. She might fuss a bit but eventually she does it.". Mayhaps you weren't referring to sex when you said this but if this is a universal truth about women why wouldn't it work for sex too?
Ok. your right. very good. Thats not specifically what I was talking about, but it is true. Now imagine a man who is hesitant, unsure, and not self assured to even tell his woman to bring him.... dinner, trying to comprehend and accomplish something so far out of his beliefs. Its like telling indians who use flint and granite, that matches arent magic. Besides that there are many many many lurkers here who --to put it bluntly --are thieves and scallywags and users. [BF presents the single finger salute to the aforementioned.] Your very open and have experienced it on some mild level I am absolutely certain so its part of your experience. You 'ken' it.
That being said, I dont do that anymore. I dont prey on the weak, I only trade what is freely offered, and inform them that its nothing else.
greet HD at the door some evening nekkid except for a pair of pink panties with "Naughty Butt Nice" printed on the *ss Id like that as much as you. With the exception of the LDW who are full of resentment, most of the 'LD'W would appreciate that same scenario I mentioned.
What I would add from my HD female perspective is that it takes even more guts for a man to deal with a woman who is coming on strong than one who is being resistant. I mentioned this same thing before when you(?) and LFL were talking about top and bottom. It WAS harder for me to deal with the women who were so ridiculously aggressive, assertive, direct and apparently top. It was just a test too. If I was more top and reasserted fearlessly no matter the extreme level, then everything was fine. If I hesitated for less then a second, and thats exact time -not metaphorical, then I was deemed unworthy. It required courage, because there is no 'pre practice' activity that can give you the confidance for it. A woman top is not the natural order. A man is turned off and without a referance point in that situation.
Lets say you are a soldier, it doesnt matter how much you practice, untill you set foot on the battlefield and charge forward when everything in your body and soul is telling you to run away, youll never discover that courage leads to confidance. Of course too much battlefield just leads to a burnt out indifferant NAFOD who has no caution or temperance, for the limits of his associates, and is a danger to everyone except himself.
It's easier to play the lion when the woman is playing the gazelle than when the woman is playing the lioness. I wish youd quit using it but we are totally on the same page when you keep using lions as your analogy referance. It was some in depth reflection on this that finally(i hope) had me accepting tending the fences... and then I saw the remark about the grass is not greener if there is no fence.... That was the assumption I was operating under before though... ew my head hurts.
It's easier to chase the woman who is acting like she doesn't want to be caught across the field than it is to meet the woman halfway across the field who is walking towards you with full intent in her open eyes. Lets bring this back to the original point of your post.
What would you like for that man who is walking across the field to do when he gets to you though? Ask, tell, or Know. Is his knowing going to be more or less satisfying for you coming from within him, or when he asks and you tell?
So your right. Her responding to the 'ask' will come from a healther place inside of her. I truly truly wish I had allowed for that to happen in my reconcil attempt.
I think your saying it though, because you just dont want a man who you can 'top' no matter how far you push it. So dont worry, you pass "Miss Godey's Charm School for Young Misses" testing her man 506 class magna cum laude. Nice try though.
A man still has to stretch himself outside of his comfort zone and find his edge, before he can relax into his true self. And then he has to stretch again. and again. Some dont want to go anywhere near the edge, and some are constantly dangling from it. Figure out which one your man is and figure out how to assist him to a middle ground. You picked him afterall. Take responsibility for your decision. Pregnancy counts as a Pick BTW. There was nothing in your vows about 'if I can mold him into exactly what I think he should be.'
I think you are a wonderful Alpha Male Nice Boy That is truly in the top five worst things I have ever been called. Im not an alpha male, I dont wish to be, I currently have no desire to take care of anyone, and if you think Im nice, you havent paid attention to my R with x. Since you are old enough to be my mom, Ill let you escape with the boy remark. Do you mind if I bring my laundry over? You can keep the sugar, but I would like some peach cobbler..ohh.. out of season.. how about some fudge brownies?
I was just reflecting on my own experience. If my woman is unavailable to me, you better believe I am selfish enough to take care of myself, and I would presume porn would be preferable to some OW. Im all ears to what a woman who is 'touched out' and 'needied out' from the kids, would prefer from her H. and abstinance is not an option. feel free to express your solutions bluntly.
Most of this was just tossed out there in general. I think your doing good mojo. Or your H is... lol.
