Well first, you should probably know that I'm with everyone else...you made no mistake...that was just Bitch-Mode. Honestly...it can be wickedly fun at times.
But I do want to throw this thought out there...
You have been so focused on Detachment...naming your threads that and such. I didn;t think of it until reading this new thread...but could you possibly have mistaken detachment for building an emotional wall of protection?
Detaching is not about separating ourselves from our true spouse, from our spouse spiritually or intuivally. It is about sepearting from the drama. I've said before that it is about detaching from the emotional rollercoaster and not the person. That is probably often mistaken as detach emotionally...No detach from emotions...emotions being nouns separate (external) from the person. Feelings--emotionally--being internal.
Hmm...so wo sorts of emotions
1. Feelings, Internal 2. I don't know what to call it (naming ideas please?), External
Detach from 2, not 1.
I think you may have mistaken what you are doing for detaching. You've seemed so strong for most of this journey...but you;ve also seemed as though you detached a bit too far...from the true core Puffy. Okay...there is no true core Puffy...that (not he) is waht you need to detach from. Puffy is a name for the temporary thing inhabiting his skin.
I think you may have isolated your emoions too much. These sort of windfalls are easier to withstand with true detachment.
I hope I'm not offending you.
So about this going to divorce and no remarriage for you together. I won;t tell you 'you never know.' because you may very well know...if you choose. What you don't know is how he will be and what he will want...but regardless you may decide it doesn't matter.
I really think you need to give yourself some space to cry. Tear down the emotional barriers. Sure you are hot, you love sexy shoes and pole dancing. But remember Moondog's first post...all humour to hide the pain. Keep the humour. But don't use it to hide something...use it instead to release it if it works that way.
