Our C says that children should not be around other people (for either of us) for 2 years because these new R rarely last. They are rebound relationships. Bandaids. And if the children become attached to this person and then there is a breakup, that is another loss for the children to deal with besides initial M break up. (I hope I am making sense).
You are making total sense. Lissy knows this about me, so I know she won't mind my explaining to you, mopsey. My H's former ow has a young child. This ow's husband was not in the picture for whatever reason, thus the child had no father figure. Guess who ow forced into that role? Yes, my H. This confused the child; her mother was telling her this was her new "daddy" and she began to refer to my H as this. We have no children of our own, so my H bonded with this child. It was horrible for me. In the end of the A, it was the little girl who had the hardest time because suddenly he was no longer there for her. Even up to a few months ago, the ow was still calling my H and putting her child on the phone with him, in a sad attempt to get him back. It is a sick game they can play. So I agree, it is best not to bring young children into these R's until it is truly going somewhere. In the case of these affairs, it almost never works out, and the kids suffer most.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
