how to keep calm and patient??

[~Sol]

Oh my goodness Sol1696 - 4years!!!!!!!

I take my hat off to you - you are so very very patient.

My H too is doing all the other things right except intimacy but he didn't have an A just (I say just it was still a big deal) left me and S for 4 months. Anyway my H has actually said he is afraid that he won't feel right and it will ruin what we've built back up. Like you rightly say it is only half a M. To me that side of things is what makes your R with your spouse different and special from other R you have in life. It is very frustrating I know and I too am starting to resent all the things I am doingb when H says it is such a big deal just to kiss me. He acts like someone has a gun to his back. It is making me so miserable because I feel unattractive yet he says its not that. He has explained it all but it doesn't stop the hurt inside everytime I feel I want to do something and I know I'm "not allowed". Are you able to discuss with your wife what the problem is or is that a no go??

It's not that we haven't ML for 4 years, it's the hot and cold spells during that time since she started working nights. We have ML, but recently her mind is somewhere "else", like she's thinking of "someone else". I would rather not ML at all if she is going to be doing this all the time. Our intimacy is gone since her A, and I feel that I only have half a W.

Last time we discussed it she pointed out that I was "impotent", and couldn't satisfier her. Well, I took care of that by making sure that our ML lasted longer and she got what she needed, so I killed THAT accusation. But even now, ML is on the back burner for her, and I so want to be physical with her!!!

All I want to do is love her, in every way.