The way I see your situation is that the only way it is going to change is if one of the players, you or hubby, moves off center. Since you are here, that means you.
I have very specific reasons for making the following suggestions, let me make them and you tell me if you can stand to do them, then I can explain why if you like.
1) Replace your vehicle. Your husband considers it an affront to his manhood every time he sees you in it. He considers it a disrespectful action. Sell it and apologize for being so insensitive to his feelings by driving it after other man had tainted it. Ask for forgiveness if you can bring yourself to do it.
2) Using the same tactic, deal with the kissing issue. Tell him that he never has to kiss you again if he doesn't want to then follow the above example regarding apology and forgiveness (don't worry, he will likely eventually want to kiss you again).
Those two items effectively put the affair to death. Once that has been done, then it is time to begin to negotiate a new relationship with him, one with new boundaries and requirements.
I am sure that you are aware that the old relationship, as is, is dead. The only way to repair it, is to finish it off and start a new one.
I do realize that I am asking you to do what seems like eating more crow. What I am really asking you to do is to address the unresolved portions of the affair.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
