how to keep calm and patient??

[Jen_Jam]

OK - ML is VERY important to you. I can understand that if you don't get it that it can make a person feel very unattractive.
OK - I have a few suggestions, but I hope others will chime in:
1. Get Michelle's book "the Sex Starved Marriage" if you haven't already - it may help, it certainly cant do any harm
2. Speak to H and tell him just how important ML is to you (in a calm, even voice) and ask if he'd consider ways of getting to a point where your SL is good - let him come up with some ideas first but check out relate, they offer Psycho Sexual Therapy which includes sensate stuff (more on their website)
3. ML with someone else - OK, not a serious suggestion but I put it there to illustrate that you will need to carry on the waiting game
4. Compromise with extra cuddles from H if he is amenable to this
5. Tell yourself that you are celibate for the time being, that H is a good friend but no more for now.

Gosh (((((IP))))) I really do feel for you. I'm not particularly HD, but when H used to reject me I felt very hurt, ugly, clumsy, a lot of negative things. I hope you can come through this, it would be a shame to throw away a M when maybe a couple of months of waiting in frustration would have been all it needed.