Harmonic Divergence

[fearless]

I disagree that not snooping equals hiding your head in the sand.

I agree that ignoring FACTS is not something that anyone should do. FACTS are the most important thing is these situations. The problem to me is that none of the facts that LG has to date show any indication of any type of affair - emotional or physical.

I apologize if it appeared my comments were interpreted as "instructing" LG to engage in a practice that could potentially threaten his life. I don't mean that AT ALL and appreciate the chance to clarify. First as long as there isn't any sex going on between Marc and his spouse, there isn't any danger. Second, and most importantly, my comments were not supposed to be seen as any type of instruction. They were merely comments about how I've handled my situation and the reasoning for it. In no way should anything I ever write be seen as any type of instruction or absolute. In fact the best way I can imagine someone using what I write is to focus on the end result first and then look and see if my actions and suggested actions would achieve the result in their situation and marriage.

Again as for snooping, I go back to my thoughts years ago when I snooped to find things to show my boyfriend was cheating on me. I couldn't find the proof no matter how much snooping I did although I felt certain he was. Well it turned out I finally found out through a friend much later that he indeed did cheat on me. So what is my point? That snooping didn't help that situation. What I should have done in hindsight was trust my instinct and break up with him with or without proof. And I didn't even owe him the "justification" of why. And what does this have to do with LG? Maybe, if he feels that certain that something is going on, he jcould preemptively tell his wife that he isn't comfortable with her behavior and that he is done with the marriage as it is? IMHO, nothing at all would be wrong with that as long as that is EXACTLY how HE feels and what HE wants.