Hi Jen Jam thank you for stopping by to help me again.
I've read SDFoundgirl's piecing thread as you suggest but I can't find any previous ones. She seems to be feeling like me but is more patient.
Why am I so useless at this?? I've read your thread over and over and know that you nearly became a WAS and I know where you are coming from. I am feeling like that every day at the minute. I really don't want to do this anymore - and it is all because of ML. Most other piecer's posts I've read they seem to be OK in this area. I think if there was a different problem left to resolve in my M but we were ML I could handle this a whole lot better. H says the thought doesn't make him cringe but the look on his face when he tries to go a bit further than he already is sure looks like he's cringing. When I had a similar problem after S was born all the thinking in the world didn't sort it I just ended up having to force myself to do things. H won't. I am so p@~@~@ off with this whole topic I just want to scream in his face (its OK I won't). I can feel myself losing respect for H, losing love for H and losing respect for myself. When H wasn't living here I felt attractive and knew I looked good. Now I don't feel attractive at all and I don't think I look good. Too many late nights and lack of sleep. If I don't stay up late I don't see H because of his shifts and then I'm up early in the morning for S while H sleeps away.
I am still doing my GAL things Jen, honestly I am they just aren't making me happy at the moment. Maybe I'm wierd but if I'm on my own I'm fine about not ML - if I'm in a R I'm not fine about not ML. That's the bottom line. I'm not happy in this R anymore and I don't think I can keep faking it until H makes it. Sorry I know this is all very negative but it is how I feel and I can't tell H can I? I'm seriously thinking of calling it quits because I've done the see how you feel after 48 hours thing and I still feel the same.
