Hey a quick reply to my own post because I just read NOPkins posts and signature line. I agree that affairs are awful and that there are definitely, in my opinion, character flaws which allow people to engage in such deceitful activity. Obviously they allow themselves to feel some "entitlement" in order to do something that is obviously wrong.
My only point with my post and opinion is that going down the path of confronting them may not get you the result you want if the result is keeping the marriage together. If someone is just looking for the easy way to end the marriage but still has just enough sense to know that an affair is wrong and is trying to hide it, then exposing it could make the option of just leaving easier. (Yeah yeah a lot of caveats because there is no exact right answer unfortunately.)
However you would have to know your spouse and her reaction to know what's the best way. In my opinion, since she's already broached the subject of separation and written about divorce, that doesn't appear to be the exact right approach but I couldn't say for sure.
Her quotes for her journal (which by the way don't ever snoop again!!) don't seem to indicate to me that there is any one right now. Just seem to be the mlc thoughts of "someone" else out there who could be the one.
By the way the reasons for not snooping. 1) waste of time and energy 2) then you react to her rather than being the person she reacts to 3) even when you find something you usually have to interpret which you can easily do incorrectly 4) It just makes you feel weak, needy and insecure.
I am a reformed snooper and I can tell you personally my self esteem, feeling of strength and mood was so much better when I gave it up cold turkey.
Just wanted to clarify so you (and NOPkins) don't think I disagree with NOPkins thoughts. I just have another view which may or may not be helpful.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
