My personal feeling is that the other component of the emotional stiltedness is genetic in origin. I have 2 kkids, less than 2 yrs apart. The environment hasn't been all that different for either one of them. One has a lot of difficulty expressing emotion while the other really lets you know where he's at. hey're complete opposites. One will never tell me if something is wrong, while the other tells me every last detail. I believe there's a genetic aspect to personality that can't be overlooked.
Aid, the one danger of reading the books is that you can get into fixer/ analyzer mode, where you start thinking too much about your H's issues and get derailed from your own growth. It's good to have an understanding and lend a helping hand, but he is goung to have to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I like the actions you're doing to facilitate some closeness. That takes a lot of strength. You're an awesome mom as well.
