You have no idea, how much I relate to your recent conversation. When I found out H was with "former friend" skank ho OW. I just told him how disappointed I was in both of them and that I couldn't believe she could think this was alright since we were friends. I told him calmly that I hoped they were happy since they stepped on the back of their families to have this R.
Then when he told me she was going to start attending S17's sporting events. I flipped out and told him she was a money-grubbing b*tch and that decent women never got involved with the X of a friend. I told him that she could do whatever she wanted but she would NEVER have his children or a family like we had and she would NEVER have the history we did. I told him that she wouldn't stay around anyway. Because as soon as his money is gone, she will be gone. My H didn't stay calm or quiet through this he screamed at me, I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE....GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. I am sure he didn't even remember it later because the next time, I saw him or had contact with him, he acted as though othing had happened.
You will calm down a bit. You will not hate him or her like you do now. As for not wanting to divorce him or ever giving him another chance. I don't know that, like the MLCers we are all different and have different tolerance levels. You will heal. Leave the future of your R with Javier up to God.
I know that you did ot DB but sometimes it just has to all come out. I think about the idea of just keeping our mouths shut regardless of how hurtful our S are, sometimes just seems counter productive. Would we keep our mouths shut if our teenage children were being selfish and hurtful to us.
As far as the half-brother issue, is Javier so desparate for his father's approval to sacrifice his son. You are absolutely right about this!! As a survivor of sexual abuse, I will tell you that what you did is right. The damage from what your H's half brother could have done to your son would have never gone away. Much of the resentment I feel toward my mother comes from her not protecting me from this abuse. I am confident that you already know this, but never let your S discover that Javier did not support you on this. It could lead to issue for S that he will have a hard time dealing with. In my experience, not being protected by a parent in this kind of situation is devastating.
Go, Lissett, heal your heart, live your life, and dump on us when you need to. This is a long hard road but we will survive and despite all the problems I am having dealing with this right now. I know we will all be better for having completed this journey.
You are in my prayers and in my heart.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
