The thing that gets me, though, is that when I met H, he did seem to have those things. That's why I fell in love with him. He treated me like gold. He was a sensitive, caring, compassionate guy, at the age of 19. He had more spirit back then than he does now at 33.
I could have written the same only 23 and 44 in place of the ages.
Quote:
have that childhood spirit still in me. I remember being a child. I see it all again in my children. H doesn't have that childhood spirit in him. Sure, he remembers being a child and talks about games he used to play and TV shows he liked growing up, but I don't think he remembers what it feels like to be vulnerable and in need of mommy and daddy.
This part is scary to me, I am the one that does not have these warm memories from childhood. I don't remember being comforted by my mother and when I remember feeling comforted by my father, it turned into something ugly and inappropriate. Why am I not the one withdrawing from my marriage. I do feel that H and his family covers too much stuff up to appear to be the perfect family. I know that MIL felt neglected and discarded by her mother because she left her with her grandparents and went with alcoholic father. I also know that FIL was adopted by a warm loving mother and a emotionally cool, controlling father. There has to be some aftermath from this.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
