I now have confidence my sensuality is there if I make an effort, but it's not high on the list.
I kind of feel this way, too. I feel like when I joined this board I wasn't wanting sex for its own sake or for pure expression or even for the pleasure of intimacy and closeness with my bf. I wanted it to affirm me, to prove that I was okay, normal, good enough, attractive. That's why his WANTING to have sex was just as important or even more important than DOING IT.
With all the internal changes I've been going through, I'm much more relaxed about the whole thing.
"The Red Tent" is one of my most FAVORITE novels of all time! I think every woman on this board would ADORE it! The guys probably would, too. I was in a class with my late H years ago and I loaned it to one of the people in the class. It started going from hand to hand, and I didn't get it back for TWO YEARS. I heard Anita Diamant (BTW she pronounces it exactly like "diamond" but with a "t" sound at the end instead of a "d") speak about writing the book. She's a journalist and researcher and the book is painstakingly authentic as far as setting, customs, etc. I remember as I got close to the end, I kept reading slower and slower, because I didn't want it to end.
