I could have written your post, about my own H. Especially this:
Quote:
The thing that gets me, though, is that when I met H, he did seem to have those things. That's why I fell in love with him. He treated me like gold. He was a sensitive, caring, compassionate guy, at the age of 19. He had more spirit back then than he does now at 33.
In fact, even the ages you stated are exactly the same in my case. If you ever find the answer to this, please share it with me, because I have been struggling with this for some time now. I don't know what happened to my H's spirit, either. He had the ability and desire to show more love and affection in his younger years than in his 30's. And yes, I was treated like gold, too. But not so much now.
I haven't read Silent Sons but I've heard enough about it here that I am sure my H is another one of them. For certain, so much of this goes back to their childhoods where they did not receive everything that they needed in the form of love and support from their parents. I know my H didn't. He has shared stories with me; very sad.
I do feel sorry for my H as well, because I know he is a lost and confused man. He tried to grow up and he failed.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
