He said he's seeing someone new

[Ophelia]

No worries, 4ever!

I'm not gonna mention the mobile bill to him, (not like I could anyway, seeing as how we're not communicating at all), not gonna bother forwarding it on to his parents' place. If it was meant to show up there, then eventually he might ask me if it came here by mistake. We'll see if his next bill shows up here as well. That'll be the real test.

You definitely need to see NZ one day. A long way to come for you, but well worth the trip.

I was really into painting in high school. Had this one art teacher who was totally cool, one of those teachers that's so cool that their students call them by their first name. She was Scottish, and one day said to me in her broad Scottish accent, "Oh, you're going to be a famous woman artist one day!" Well, that woulda been nice, but it hasn't exactly happened.

I'm not so much into painting on canvas these days, but I'll paint on pretty much anything else I can get my hands on. I'm working on this little table right now, which I've been working on for what feels like ages. I got it into my head that it looked like it should be painted up in the style of a Tibetan antique, with lots of bright colours and little gold motifs of lotus blossoms, etc on the sides, and with a mosaic pattern on the top. I'll post some photos when it's finished, (whenever that may be). I'm hoping I'll be able to find some sucker to pay me an obscene amount of money for it.

I really hope there does come a day when H realises that what he's doing isn't acceptable. It's a good sign that he knew it was wrong to talk about it in front of my brother, but it's kinda hard to focus on the positives when I've got the huge negative of still no contact from him after almost an entire month slapping me in the face.

I've been feeling sorry for myself today. Been missing him like crazy. I think of the possibility of never feeling his arms wrapped around me again. Never kissing him again. And it seems so overwhelming that I can hardly breathe.

Then to top it all off, the washing machine decided not to work today, which didn't help my already crappy mood! It'll fill with water, then not actually do the washing action. Needless to say, it got a bit of a beating from me today. Didn't help the washing machine work any better, but it made me feel a little bit better.

I tell ya, it's my birthday on Thursday, and I'm seriously considering asking my parents to get me a punching bag and gloves. Those days when I tell myself I need to do some exercise, but just don't feel like it because I'm having a crappy, depressing day....if I had a punching bag, it wouldn't matter if I felt like crap, in fact it'd be a good thing if I felt like crap, because I'd punch the everloving crap outta that bag! Exercise and therapy in one, gotta love that!