"I am sad when I look at my H. I see him as spirit-less. He seems to
lack any real joy or inner peace."

I have witnessed that too. I think it is because they feel they have caused so much damage all the way around and they are afraid of losing everything???? My H has admitted this as recently as a month ago.

The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19