how to keep calm and patient??

[~Sol]

IP,

I understand what you are going through. I have a bit of a different sitch in that my W is showing all the right things in in a M - except being intimate. It's like she's afraid or not interested in ME all that much. It's frustrating, and it's driving my patience to the ground. I'm also trying to have a better M, but I feel I am doing all the work and W is not trying hard enough - and she's the one that cheated! So I also feel hurt and I'm starting to get resentful about having only half a M. I don't know why she would act like our M is OK, then not show anything when she's home at night. She works nights, and the 2 nights a week she's home she prefers to sleep.

It's been this way for 4 years. Maybe she's in a cold spell or she doesn't know if she really wants me anymore? I don't get her. I'm trying as best as I can, I'm willing to forgive her, I WANT to love her - so what's her deal?

Maybe this all takes more time than we'd like to admit? But I see that your H is trying, in his own way.