Still in the fight

[81388*]

Ford, Whatis;
Thanks for the rapid response team. I was really caught by surprise. She has not said word one for almost 3 months about relationship, marriage, communication,etc.

I should have seen it coming though, she was back to wearing very obvious reminder of OM, and had asked about filling out w4 re: kids and D and taxes.

She had been pushing all the buttons, none of which got me to bite. But she sucker punched with the whole spending thing, drew me in, and before I knew what hit me, I was defending my behavior. I tried really hard, kept pulling back and saying "I can see why you feel that way", or "I am sorry that is how you see it, I certainly didn't mean for you to".

She jumped right in though, you have to remember, she is still not giving any indication that she might even be tilting towards working on anything.

I have learned though.

My wife feels that we don't communicate well.

My wife feels as though I take her for granted.

My wife feels guilty because she has not contributed financially to the household.

My wife feels that I have held CC purchases against her, or she feels guilty for that behavior in herself.(We have tried over the last 2 years to become debt free. I thought we were on the same page, more money available to do the things we wanted to do, not have to work as hard and have more time with W and family,etc)

My wife felt betrayed by my behavior, I had harped on CC use and then turn around and did the same damn thing.(BTW, I did think it was a bit of a 180, let her know I wasn't so inflexable on the whole CC thing- she has struggled with it in the past.)

I will not call, but how do I follow up on it?