URGENT! OW had an abortion, H miserable

[ourcrisis]

I had a pretty good night on VDay. H stayed at work till almost midnight. I trusted him that he really stayed at work (due to what happend on Thur by OW, see below). I called up a friend whose's husband was out of town and she came over for some wine and cheese and we just chatted and watched movie. He called me to pick him up from work and I could tell he was "concerned" that I was "talking to a friend". He seemed quite relieved when I told him later that I was having this girlfriend over.
Thursday night he worked late again (huge problem at work, everyone's working late). He came home and was ready for bed. Then OW's sister called. He immediately had to leave. I obviously was upset. He did stayed for another 5 minutes to say sorry many many times and what a bad person he is, etc. But at last, he said, "you know, with every minute (trails off)" Then he left. With his mumblings before he left, I thought he might spend the night there but he also said he would not sleep with her. He was not speaking sensibly before he left. I am suspecting that there was some level of suicide (talk, attempt or real) involved. With that, I really did not expect him to come home that night. But he showed up at 2:30. I was quite (pleasantly) surprised. But we didn't talk and went to bed. He still have not told me what happened. I know he was still very guilty about the abortion. So I am bracing myself for him going to see OW. So far not much, though.
As you can see, I am looking at the good side. I have to "act as if" he is coming back to treat him nice and deal with the occasional "outings". At the same time, I am definitely working on my own life, getting reacquainted with friends, work on my career, etc in case the worst happen.
Friday he was gonna go have coffee with her but he didn't. We went out to a short dinner and then he was too tired to go out.
Seeing this as a good sign but sensibly guessing he will go out this weekend sometime....