In the face of that, how on earth can I forgive myself? Just seems too self serving. When my M is falling apart and my family is crubmling before my eyes, where do I get off forgiving myself, ya know? It's just too soon.
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."
It's waaaaaay not too soon. How long will you keep hoping for a better past?
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
Heather, Your H is a weirdo, as it concerns the kids. To think that he can be alone with the kids and you can't--and then to manipulate you into thinking that it's all due to some potential infidelity (iow, hitting your ouch button a-GAIN) is asinine.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. It is abusive. My heart breaks for your kids because he will continue to use them for his own selfish and destructive purposes--namely to pump up his flagging esteem and to tear down yours.
Hang in there girl. You are a warrior and you know what you're doing.
