1. Sound like your hubby is depressed, perhaps clinically. He should get help, simply for his own sake.
2. It's OK to state your desires/needs is small bite-sized, positive actions steps. Instead of giving him a huge "stop doing this" task like, "Stop being emotionally distant from me." How about, "Hun, would you be willing to say, 'Good night' to me and give me a kiss on the cheek before we go to bed?" Or instead of "You don't reach our to me at all" try, "Can we in the next week or so, plan a date night that we both might have fun in and agree not to discuss our relationship during this time?"
Maybe something basic, like sitting him down, when you are both awake and relatively decent moods and share with him what you want and need. It's Michelle's idea of asking for what you want.
It's the thing I have the most trouble doing . It's seems silly. But maybe it works.
In our case my wife addresses me with large "stop doing this" imperatives: I am emotionally distant, I don't "see" her true self, I don't respect her. Whan I've asked her what a positive expression of repsect would look like that I could try in the next 2 weeks, she refuses to answer.
