I guess it's just when the things I haven't done are held against me yet the ones I do and have always done are discarded, it bites!
Yeah, it bites all the way around. She could make the choice to appreciate the things you do. She could focus on that and enjoy her world more, enjoy your relationship more. She doesn't and SHE will suffer for it. You don't have to. If you recognize the love you give her in doing what you do, you will feel love. She chooses not to love when she focuses on the negative, and this is a reflection of how she treats herself. My W does the same - as you well know. Try not to take it personally.
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She uses my lack (as she experiences it) in certain areas to justify her A but gives no credit for the mounds of good things I do.
I can relate to this. It's the whole "you can't give me what I need" logic. It's amazing that there's very little constructive consideration put into getting what they want. It all comes down to the LBS being the problem because the WAS determines that they can't get what they need from the LBS without actually figuring out what they want and trying to solve the problem. In the end you, the LBS, has little to do with the problem. The problem is the WAS getting their needs met, and they are not trying to solve the problem in a reasonable way.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
