I see where you are coming from on the height and weight aspect... the preist argument... let's agree to disagree on that one. Maybe Honeypot will comment.
As for CeMar... do I think he can literally control the physcial level of the sex drive he was born with... make it different, physcially, than it is? No. I agree with you he can only control how he chooses to act (or not) act upon it.
But CeMar is not a victim of his physical drive. He can and does get sex. It just isn't the kind of sex he wants... which, literally, is a different type of drive. He doesn't want to control this drive, he wants to control his wife's drive.
That's what I was talking about. I don't know about you.
If you really want to become more LD you can. It is more difficult for a man physically to become LD because of higher testosterone levels and it is more difficult for a man psychologically because of the lack of positive male LD archetypes to role model. Unlike Mr. HP, most men don't want to role model being a priest or a monk. However, there are several other male roles you could take on if you want to be LD. You can become a knight of courtly love worshiping the madonna-like pristine goddess who is your wife with no desire to defile her with your animalistic sexuality. Or you could become the Proud-to Be-Lazy couch potato guy who probably would like to f*ck his wife sometime if he thought about it but right now it's the middle of Latin American Style Golf season so maybe tomorrow. Or you could become the Beautiful Loser who can't get a break in this hard cruel world and can't understand why his woman is so lacking in the sort of empathy and understanding that would make her more attractive to f*ck. Or you could be the anal-retentive workaholic type who sets his own standards very high and can't possibly be with a woman who doesn't meet those standards as in "She must be crazy to think that she looks attractive in those pants and how can I possibly relax enough to f*ck in such a messy bedroom?".
In practice becoming more LD can be learned like a parlor trick. At first you might need some pretty blunt force self-applied aversion therapy in order to do it. For instance, let's say you and your wife are sitting watching TV having snacks in the family room some evening. You look over at her and start getting turned on. Once you are aware that this is happening, simply substitute an appropriate LD mental thought based on the psychological male archetype that you have chosen for the HD mental thought you are having. For instance, let's say you are thinking "Mmmm, my wife's breasts look really lush in that tight t-shirt. I wish I could be the pudding she's licking off her spoon.". If you have chosen the madonna-worshipping archetype you could tell yourself to think the thought "I am a crude slobbering hairy ape. I can't possibly defile the breasts that have fed my infant sons with my repulsive desire. Look at how sweet she looks eating pudding like a little girl in a picture of innocence.". If you have told yourself that you are the anal-retentive guy you could substitute the thought "That t-shirt is too tight. Probably because she still hasn't lost the weight from kid 3. I wish I was married to a woman who gave a f*ck about her appearance. Look at her shoveling in that pudding. How repulsive.". If you have chosen "lazy" guy, you can just think "Breasts, maybe....Okay commercial over back to the show! Aaaaah...Pudding and TV. Nothing beats that combination.". If you have chosen "Beautiful Loser" you can think "She has that tight t-shirt on. F*ck. She probably expects to get laid. Doesn't she understand that my cr*ppy job is sucking the life out of me? Look at her lost in her happy little land of 'Everything is wonderful if I can have some sex and pudding'. She has no depth of feeling or empathy. She is sucking the life out of me just like my job.".
Remember, practice makes perfect. Visualize yourself as LD. Adopt LD mindset and behavior and soon you will be LD. However, bear in mind the advice some old wise crone may have given you in your youth "Don't cross your eyes like that or they might stay that way.".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Are you a HD man, or are you HD in the context of your M in comparison to your wife. The differance is important to coming up with a plan. Know thyself. If you feel you are a HD man, what makes you think that? What actions in the past, or other evidence (such as metabolic make up and physiological anaylsis) do you have for thinking you are a HD man. Do you want to have sex 2x a day at least, and 8 times on the weekends? Do you want it 6x a week? 3 x? Or do you just want it more then your W.
what can I do to control the desire for sex? This suggests that you are a HD man. It also suggests that its just sex you crave and has nothing to do with your W, how you feel about her, how she treats you or how she feels about you or the emotions she has to deal with during sex. I wonder how that makes her feel.
Without chemicals, there is absolutely nothing that can lower the desire for sex. Asking a man to lower his sex drive is like asking him to stop breathing. There is no on/off switch for the sex drive. It is on full power at ALL times.
Yeah I almost agree with you on this. .... Yep I agree. however in the context of a specific woman, its very easy to change the desire for her specifically. You just pick something you dislike about her and focus on it. Its called perspective control.
If there was some way to turn it off, I would LOVE to here it, it definitely would make life more bearable. If there were a way for me to have the body of Atlas, the money of Bill Gates, and as many wives as Soloman, While being able spend my days eating chips and playing video games, I would LOVE to hear it. Man life would be sweet.
seriously, We have been over this allready.
Everything I have ever tried actually makes it HIGHER! I agree with that too, wholeheartedly. Improving yourself, does in fact give you confidance,value/entitlement.
For someone who is obsessively focused on their own sex drive, but craves desire from someone else, it would seem more prudent to focus on what causes desire. That being said, Desire like you want from your W, is intended to perpetuate the species, and hold a couple together long enough to accomplish that. Seems you have accomplished that. Maybe you need to change your wants to something more realistic and attainable.
CeMar, I love you. Right now you are my favorite person on this BB. You gave me back what I've recently lost with your insanely resistant to peer pressure brand of high sex drive. I realized all the talk on this BB recently which equates being feminine with all the girlish arts of picking out nail polish, being fitted for a corset, learning to bat your eyelashes at the boys, projecting helplessness, getting fake boobs, getting your feet bound in infancy so that your walk becomes delicate and mincing and the curled deformity of your feet is seductive because it so resembles the pale virginity of an unfurled peony is making me SICK!SICK!SICK!
Here is how you have sex like a WOMAN. You stand strong on the fertile earth because your legs are strong and your wide hips give you balance. You carry a baby on one hip and seed for your garden in your free hand. Your body is perfectly feminine because the baby nestles perfectly in the curvature of your waist and the baby's head comes to rest right on the pillow of your breast. You drop the seed and plant the crop that you will tend to feed your children. This is your work and you are proud and pleased that you have the will and the strength to do this work. Through all of history in times of famine or war you persevere. Every man that was ever a baby was fed by your hand and carried on your ample hip.
The spring sun warms your body as you plant the new crop. Across the garden a man works also or perhaps you see him approaching as he returns from the hunt. The warmth of the sun spreads downwards . The man comes near. You smile at him as the whole gravity of the earth and the heat of the sun gathers in the core of your being. The rhythm of your blood rises like the tides of the ocean.
If the man returns your smile and brings his own strength to bear then you fall to the earth like all your mothers before you. Soon that's all you'll be, just a memory in the matriarchal line of mitochondria but right now is your time. You are the woman. You spread your legs. You raise your hips. You howl at the moon or you sink into the ocean. You smile again.
But what if the man doesn't return your smile? What if the man is unable to being his own strength to bear? How can you be a woman? Hush. Don't worry. Drop seed. Carry baby. A man will come.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
My way is clear. I can't be a girl again. It would be like trying to squeeze myself back into the jeans I wore in 7th grade. I have to be a woman and if I have to choose between being a woman or a wife, I will choose to be a woman as nature, not society, made me.
I love you guys. I wish you all great joy on your journey.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Maybe someday, some life, we'll meet in the garden. However, I'll probably sneak up behind you while you're planting your seeds. That's the way, as KC said, I like it.
Maybe someday, some life, we'll meet in the garden. However, I'll probably sneak up behind you while you're planting your seeds. That's the way, as KC said, I like it.
And I would probably smile at your boyish behavior but that's not what you need to do. You need to walk straight up to the woman in your wife with your eyes wide open. Don't be a boy and don't expect her to play the girl so you can feel more like a man. If you can approach her straight on with respect and love you will have everything you need and want no matter how she responds because you will be a man and you will know it.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
