It just became clear to me that H is very suspicious that I am seeing someone. In light of his comment last night about a potential boyfriend at karate, plus something that happened just a few minutes ago. I was typing an email to a good friend who lives in Richmond and I was going to ask her if she would be available to hang out if I came up during the weekend H will have the kids in Baltimore and as I was typing that I realized that I don't even know for sure which weekend H is planning on taking them, which is just ridiculous....if the situation were reversed and I were taking the kids, I would figure out for sure which weekend my family was going, I wouldn't just keep saying 'I don't know'. So, I called him to ask him and the silence on the other end of the phone was deafening...accusing actually. All of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks that he thinks I'm asking so that I can make plans with somebody else....somebody other than my friend Sara! I ended up having to call his sister to ask what their plans are for Baltimore. Ya know, I know I don't deserve his trust, certainly not now. But can I just say that it totally, thoroughly and completely sucks to want my H back so badly only to have him think I'm seeing somebody else?! This is crazy.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
