Whew! A lot of debate on the ol' thread last night. All I can say is that I am trying something I haven't tried before - stating my want and not getting into the "let's analyze this" pit into which Ms.Hdog always wants to drag me down. I know there is nothing to be gained by going down there, and everything to lose. It is HER arena, not mine.

So, to sum up, I'm doing this because:
1. It is helping me reclaim my integrity, my sense of self, which I have abandoned or ignored for way too long.
2. It is an exercise in overcoming my fear of confrontation with her.
3. Her reactions to my statement give me information.
4. The information I gather from her reactions will help me decide what I need to do next.

As for withholding information from you folks, I think I've been pretty consistently straightforward. My ex once told me on my way into see a counselor about our out-of-control marriage and reckless lifestyle, "You know that she won't be able to help you unless you tell her everything." She was challenging me, because she thought I'd make her look like the "bad guy". I took her message to heart, and confessed my sins to the counselor for most of the session. As any good counselor would do, she was not judgmental, but she helped my look at how I was contributing to the problem.

I have always wanted to thank my ex for telling me that. Even though her intention at the time was to firm up our "conspiracy of sins", it ended up informing the way I talk to counselors, and to you folks, too. I know that I will not get the kind of help I need unless I tell you the bad things about me, too.

I have, at one time or another, confessed my financial ineptitude, my angry reactions/yelling, my various prescription medications (anti-depressants, ADD meds), my various diagnoses (depression, ADD), my premature ejaculation, my long distance flirting, my lies and omissions, and probably a host of other sins I don't want to enumerate or can't remember right now. Why have I done this? Because I need to hear it from my "counselors", whether they are professional or laypersons, if I'm the one screwing up and what I need to do to work on that. And you all have come through with that information.

Have I left some out? Probably. But, for the most part, I have shared with you that I am a flawed individual, just like all of you.

'Nuff said.

Now, anyone know where I can buy some better rope for my harem in the basement? They are chewing through the cotton clothesline I'm currently using.

Hairdog, who sprinkles gunpowder in his rum just so his flatulence can be that much more dangerous.