We talked for a while, and I tried to explain my feelings. I told him I need time and space like he did to work these feelings out because I basically had to shut up and give him what he needed for all of those months. I told him I didn't regret it or resent it, that I did it because that's what I had to do for our M, but that I now had to process all that had happened and have time to trust his changes.
We ended up cracking jokes, but that SD from the early DBing days is feeling really, really afraid. Tonight I wanted to be the WAS. I wanted to run, to live apart for a while, to let him figure a few things out the way I had as well.
SD
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes I have been through this!!!
I told H more or less EXACTLY the same thing - that it had been hard on me, that I wasn't angry with him, but that I needed TIME to trust that everything was going to be OK.
I wanted to be the WAS too - not for revenge, oh no, but just cos it felt all so DARN HARD!!! It felt like something in our M had died and I was never going to get it back again.
But there is good news...I'm still piecing so am not "there" yet, still got a lot of me to work on, b - u - t life is feeling better. H is trying, he IS aware that he contributed to the situation too, that we BOTH got things wrong. That really helps.
SD you WILL get there...but be prepared to have ILYBINILWY feelings for your H now and then ...if you do just go back to GAL, to enjoying life and if H gets worried just say you need a little space. Yes it does seems as if the alien invades us too...but we're stronger than them!! Darn ET's!!
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
