Looking Up

[Heywyre]

Well I got locked out so here I am on a new thread (can anyone tell me how to connect the two threads?)

Anyway, I am journaling here and just feeling a little better about things the past couple of days. I don't know if its because things are really better or just how I am feeling at the moment. I don't want to seem pessimistic but I also don't want to disillusion myself either that everything is all bright and shiny either.

However, H was feeling pretty good the past couple of days (which is probably why I feel better too). He said the A is becoming more of a memory (however, I am concerned because he has to go to the city where OW lives in about 10 days and I am, needless to say, somewhat stressed about it - but not saying it to him - should I?)

Anyway, tonight as he was going to bed (he works nights so goes to bed VERY early) he said "how are you feeling" and I said I was ok. He said he had been feeling pretty good the past few days and I thought I would take the opportunity to ask him something that has been eating at me for quite some time - about a month or more ago, he said he didn't know how he felt about me or where I fit into his life. Needless to say this devastated me at the time and its been bugging me even since.

So tonight I asked him "so do you know where I fit into your life yet" and he INSTANTLY said "you're number 1" - my heart just about burst and I said "thank you" and gave him a kiss good night

I would have to say that's a giant baby step no?

Now if I could just get him to ML