Last night my W went to church as she does every Wednesday. I was working. She called when she got out to say she was going to a friends house and to let her know when I get out of work so we can meet up somewhere for a soda and snack.
In the past I would have told her to just stay with her friend as that is "probably what you would prefer to do, I know you don't want to spend time with me", or something similar. Instead I kept Jody's advice in mind, don't worry so much about what she is saying, look at what she is doing. So..., she wants to make time to see me since she is near where I work sans kiddies and there is no school Thursday or Friday, she can stay out a bit since she won't have to get up early.
So I went with it. We met for a quick snack and soda at McDonalds. One of the things Jody asked me is, "what does she like to do?" I told her that in all honesty, she just likes to do anything. She is just as happy going to Orchestra hall as she is sitting and having a coke at McDonalds. To her its all just time together, with adults and relaxing with no kids making demands and such.
I followed Jody's advice to the letter. Light, recreational type conversation. I could feel that she was tense, on edge just waiting for something negative, but I didn't let it happen. She visibly relaxed as our time together went by without issue.
Gotta run. I would recommend to everyone that is on this board to do 2 things. Get DR, follow it to the letter using it as a reference guide/workbook in conjunction with your solutions journal and second, call a DB Coach. I couldn't afford it either. Scroll through my thread for the financial mess that is mine. I just did the math, I will pay a lot more than $400.00 in the long run if the D happens. At least this way, I can say I did everything in my power to salvage the mess I have made.
