I know that consequences can be longstanding. When people go to prison, they probably suffer just about every day but it is still justice because justice is for the person who was wronged.
Ah, no. Justice is not to appease those who have been wronged. Justice is to impose boundaries. The suffering aspect you speak of for the person who has done the wrong is their inability to accept the consequences of their actions, and to forgive themselves.
I'm curious to know why you ask your H for permission to take your kids to an event, and then allow him to control whether or not they accompany you?
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I feel like I made my choice with a clear head, I don't think I am running. He could say the word and we'd be back in MC.
Power play. You are now making him responsible for the future of the M.
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I've consistently maintained that I do NOT feel like a victim and I hope I'm not a martyr. I'm not abusing myself, I'm just taking responsibility for my actions and that means not dressing it up and making it look pretty because it's not.
What does being a victim or a martyr feel like, do you think? Seriously. Not setting you up, just talking it thru.
It is my opinion only that you are severely abusing yourself. I know it well, I'm not criticizing. For the moment you stop abusing yourself, is the moment your H will stop abusing you... for he cannot abuse you any more than you are willing to abuse yourself.
