I think you are doing fine. A sense of humor is amazing in situations like this.
And yes, it's OK to have sexual fantasies about tour wife. You are still alive, my friend. Maybe one day you can tell her, "You know this would all be so much easter if you weren't so damn sexy." And say it with a wicked, mischevious smile on your face. Wink at her and walk out of the room. Apply and release pressure.
I remember when I took my wife to a kick-ass dinner and we were talking about my "changes" that she appreciated and we came up with a metaphor for me -- a fine, aged wine about to be uncorked. I then chimed in that this fine wine (chateaux Lafite 1964) was much better than the Bartles and James wine-cooler she was interesed in. We both laughed our asses off. I've used that metaphor several times. It shows her I can roll with the punches. Yeah he's got her heart, but I know I'm the better man.
IF you think, "How can I stop from losing my wife to this guy?" you will freak about the necklace, you will, in fact, freak about everything. This angry panicked thought is the mental constuct controlling your behavior.
Try looking at it a new way. That man already has your wife's heart. She's wearing his necklace. She's really his. Stop and accept that for a second. Then think about it this way...you are trying to lure her away from him. If you were the OM trying to seduce another man's wife, you wouldn't come on jealous and possesive about the necklace her husband gave her -- that would make you look needy and psychopathic. No...you'd roll with the punches, make youself as interesting and attractive as possible, play hard to get, strategically apply and release pressure. And, since you have nothing to lose, you would act relaxed and patient and very subtle.
That's your job, 8. BE the OM. Take that beautiful blonde away from that asshole who gave her the necklace. What have you got to lose? You don't have her now. Why not start fresh? Have an affair...but have one with your wife.
Be sneaky.
Does that work for you? IF not, discard it. What I like about it is that is puts the control and intiative in your hands. You are no longer reacting to HER story, her affair. Rather, you are unknown, dangerous, exotic quantity. You are the one throwing curveballs, running amok with your carefully calcuated, seductive curveballs.
