UPDATE- I talked with W today just a few minutes ago. I asked who was getting our D and if we could talk later. She asked it I needed to talk now? basically she feels like I am always bringing up the affair and its in the back of my mind. She started to cry a little and said working was the only thing she is good at. Not relationships or anything. I told her I was mad and my comments where trying to give her a kick in the a$$. That I love her more then she knows. I also tried to explain WHY I get jealous or crazy. That its because I get no attention from her. That inside I feel so alone. I guess its a vicious circle. We each react to the others and continue the cycle. I just do know how to sit back and be soooo patient while feeling so alone and forgotten. I end up feeling such hatred towards her. its like she can just get up and go about her day. As if nothing bothers her or she doesnt care. But I guess it does inside. UGH! How do i stay patient and not blow it all the time?
