Suspicion confirmed

[Ophelia]

He defended her honor saying WHEN HE FIRST ASKED HER OUT she declined not wanting to start anything with a co-worker. She obviously has changed her mind since then.
He went on to say that he has been out with other women also and he's not having an A with them! I didn't respond.
The following morning, another e-mail asking me how I came to the conclusion that they were having an A and that he was should be able to socialize with whomever he wants to as we are no longer co-habitating. He seems to forget conveniently that we are married. I didn't respond to this one eihter.

Wise move not to respond. My H has the same mindset. He's got himself OW now, but doesn't believe he's having an A because as far as he's concerned we're no longer married, even though we are, and will be until at least Oct which is the soonest he'll be legally able to file for D. Like I said to a friend: A shitty M is still a legal M! In their heads, they really do see themselves as being single now, which is a massive slap in the face to us. And the more we try to convince them of our point of view, (and just the simple, cold, hard facts), the more adamant they are that we're wrong and they're right. The more upset we get over OW, the more they feel the need to defend her.

We have been collaborating with our lawyers to come to a separation agreement which was set to be signed this week with the intent of me buying him out of his share of our house. With this new information, I told him I was backing off of the agreement for at least a few months as a matter of self-respect to live up to an agreement I made with myself saying I would not make any major decisions until at least six months passed after he left. He railed. Didn't like that - accused me of breaking an agreement I made in front of lawyers. Again, I didn't respond.

H is trying to get me to agree to a property settlement at the moment as well. I sent a reply to his lawyer asking for clarification on some points as their first letter was rather vague, so I'm hoping I might be able to stall the process for at least a few weeks. Good on you for sticking with your morals! No surprise he didn't like it of course. That's one thing I think to myself when I'm feeling really down about my sitch....at least I know when I put my head down on the pillow at the end of each day that I have a clear conscience and that my morals are still intact and I'm still committed to my H and my M vows. Makes me feel good about myself.

Then, today, I was praying this morning as I do every morning asking for guidance and seeking the Lord's will for me to stand for my marriage or to give up. I read on the link that was sent in your reply here about the WAS replies. In it there were several comments about forgiveness. I was inspired to offer an "olive branch" of forgiveness to my H. I told him that I was very sad about all of this but that he's right, he can do whatever he wants. I told him I've come to the place in my mind and in my heart that I forgive him and I'm not blaming him for anything anymore.

I'm glad that link helped! The quick response from him and the heartfelt apology is definitely a good sign! What he said in his reply to you, I have a feeling my H would say exactly the same thing if he were actually speaking to me at all right now. Unfortunately I read that thread all about forgiveness after contact between us had ceased, but ever since I read it, I've been thinking of sending him a forgiveness letter. I'll feel better to have said it, and it'd be a way to test the waters and see if I get any kind of response, (be it positive or negative).

Anyway, I'm really happy that you got such a positive response, and I hope there are more in the future. Try not to get discouraged if it takes a while to get another positive sign though. As they say, one step forward, two steps back, and so it goes...