I think she loves me, but as a companion and a provider, not as a husband. I guess I just have to decide if I can live with it.
GO, yep that's my thoughts exactly. She's not in love with me and she loves me as a person, companion & provider. I really felt miserable and till recently, I was angry with her for making me feel so inadequate and small. I resorted to compulsive buying of electronic gadgets and adult toys (ie RC planes, photography etc...) just to take my mind off these problems and to spend the lonely nites fiddling with them. I really thought I was alone till I found this site and that made me 'woke up'. No, I'm not alone and there are others out there in worst off situations than me. That was some consolation. I then started to read the stories in here and the remedial actions and learned a thing or 2. I accepted the fact that I now have to let her know in advance of ML so that she can be mentally prepared for it. I had earlier refused to accept this arrangement as I always felt ML was impromptu and spontaneous. Making 'appointments' for ML was completely unacceptable and incomprehensible. I now understand that if that what's make her happy then I have no other choice else the marriage will further deteriorate.
and yes, so far it's been 2x in 2 months that we ML...Guess what, we even celebrated Valentine's though she said "....but you know I dont like flowers...." when I gave her a bouquet of roses. I was like frigging pissed for the insensitive remarks but I just shrugged it off. Anyway, she did a rush-job to get me Polo fragrance (Yucks, hate Polo really) but then, it's better than nothing. I just need to understand/tolerate her moods better......
