Journey of a Happy Heart

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Hi Nicola,

Sorry I haven't been here much. I won't hijack your thread with what's going on with me.

Thanks for posting your conversation with Jim Conway. I had been thinking about calling him to give me some things to think and work on with my sitch as I've been feeling like I just want to give up on my sitch so I think I will make a call.

There are so many positives in your sitch that I feel that giving up is not the answer for you right now. Your H is still scared and he still needs to figure himself out so continue to give him his space.

Women tend to think out loud; men don't. Conway said that this is why women are always shocked when men leave, and when they come back! He will not say anything till he knows his own mind.

"And when they come back" - Hang onto that thought. I do believe that your H is wanting assurances that you still have feelings for him. I also like some of Jim's strategies although I find it difficult suggesting reading material as the WAS tends to get defensive. What if you happened to keep the book laying around where he will see it and may pick it up. Then you can offer to let him read it if he wants to.

If he brings up D: "If you want the D, then I can make you stay."

Can you explain this.

He probably says things to keep his distance, but doesn't take legal steps because he doesn't want to leave the M, but he's afraid that things won't change -> leverage

This confirms that he is still confused and is not really sure that he is making the right decision.

I think you should start working on the strategies Jim suggested. You need to get your H noticing you again especially since there doesn't appear to be OW; so much easier.

Sounds like you had a great LOVE DAY. So happy.

Hugs,