Wow, SD, that was quite a post. (Makes me wonder if my own bottled up stuff is waiting to sneak up and clobber me with a 2x4 unexpectedly someday!)
Thanks Rob! Yeah, all of these feelings lately have really sneaked up on me. I actually look at my ability to have these feelings as a positive sign. If I can feel comfortable enough to feel these things, then the M is a lot stronger.
And it is! I love my H and I am really, really THANKFUL that all of this happened. I mean that sincerely. What I gained is well worth the pain it caused me.
My H tends to take responsibility for things that aren't his--like my feelings--and that's the only reason I've been hiding how I've been feeling the last few days. In no way do I want him to feel guilty or responsible, because this is not about that. It's about the fact that I had to store away a lot of pain for a really long time because of the situation, and now it's time to feel it and let it go. It's really no more than that. If I don't do this, I don't see how I can really be the W my H deserves; there will always be this little wall between us. I never want there to be those walls there again, and so I have to face these things down.
Anyway, you've always been about a month or so behind me, so beware. It's normal.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
